Disclaimer: The following story involves adult material, so if you are young and impressionable, please go finish watching Sesame Street and do not continue reading.
At one of the churches today (the name will not be disclosed for privacy reasons), I did something kind of dumb. You know sometimes when you do something, and then immediately after you really really wish you didn't do it? Yeah. That was me. Keep in mind this was an accident, and will not be repeated...to the best of my ability...
I was in the back corner of the church kind of back behind a shed. Sometimes when you get in the groove of things, it is really easy to space out and just kind of mow on auto-pilot. Well, I was going along and kind of saw a little box but didn't really care enough to stop and pick it up. With the power of our blades I knew it would just suck it up and it would be no big deal. What I didn't know was that it was a box of condoms. Well, once I ran this box over, of course every single little one of those little guys came out of the box and were strewn all over the grass. I swear this thing was like a 48 pack or something there were that many. I knew if I got off my mower to pick them all up, my boss would see me because he was like 50 feet away, and I was not interested in him coming over to see what I was doing. So I did the only thing I could think of. I decided to run over them to pick them up as well. Then, because it wasn't bad enough I had to deal with that, my blades decided to rip open all the packages, so when I emptied the grass in the back, there were millions of little unwrapped condoms. It was not a pleasant experience for me and I buried those things like a kid in a sand box. I only tell you this extremely embarrassing story so you will understand what kind of things I have to deal with on a day to day basis!! Oh, also there were some soda bottles in the back (which I actually picked up and took to the trash...who says I don't learn from my mistakes?) which leads me to believe a picnic of sorts went on back there.
You say you want my life and i say i want yours. This is literally thee best story i have ever heard from you! And i have heard a lot. But this one takes the cake. ha ha ha oh my.
ReplyDeleteNot only did I giggle through the entire second half of your story, but I actually blushed! in a room by myself! That never happens, I'm pleasantly surprised. :) haha good story
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I can only imagine you in that situation. I imagine you were blushing also.. hahaha :)
ReplyDeleteWow. I don't even know what to say about this, except that I'm sure there are tons of great things I could say that start with the word Kevin. Ha! Also I love your disclaimer!
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